Salaries and budget sheets are unlikely to be on the minds of a couple as they exchange vows at the altar. In fact, many couples don’t talk much about money before marriage. Believing that God has gifted them with a spouse, people often embark on what the Bible calls “two becoming one” in marriage without a thought about all of the challenges merging two lives can bring.
However, money marriage problems are not uncommon, even among faithful believers.
Do any of these financial marriage challenges sound familiar?
Challenge 1: You Spend Money Wastefully!
A huge complaint in Christian marriage, spouses often argue over what money should or should not be spent on. You might think $250 on groceries and $100 on dining out per month is smart, while your spouse would rather spend $50 on a nice meal out and $250 on groceries the rest of the month.
Often, these issues come down to a few personality differences. Financial personalities include:
- Spender vs. Saver
- Materialistic vs Thrifty
- Practical vs pleasure-seeking
Solution: Practice Accountability
None of the financial personalities mentioned are necessarily wrong. Spenders can spend for good, but they can also be excessive. Savers, likewise, can save for godly purposes. However, they can also hoard their money, withholding it from God.
You can operate as a team in marriage by avoiding extremes and sticking to your number one priority as a Christian: honoring God (Prov 3:9.)
Recognize your differences and encourage each other about the ways each financial personality can glorify the Lord. Then, consider the temptations each personality faces. Strike a balance with accountability on what you agree money should or should not be spent on (and how much!)
Challenge 2: Your Financial Priorities Are Not Mine!
So many spouses argue about their savings accounts. It’s easy to do. You might think saving for a home should be your number one priority. Meanwhile, your spouse may think savings are unnecessary or want to save for something else, like a better car.
When priorities go unreconciled, you might incidentally work against each other. Your savings account won’t grow as well or as quickly as it would if you both operated as one unit with one goal.
Solution: Set Priorities Together
It’s important to remember that when two become one, your unity with your spouse is in the sight of God. You’ll still struggle with having different priorities. Some of the priorities you need to reconcile and make as a unified couple before God will be financial.
Set aside regular times to discuss financial priorities with your spouse. Be prepared to explain why you prioritize as you do. At the same time, be sure to listen. Remember, God’s way is humble (Phil 2:3!) Identify a shared financial goal with your spouse and focus on that priority.
Challenge 3: You Give Too Much (Or Too Little!)
Being generous is something God encourages in the Bible, so much that He even says He loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7.) You might be surprised to learn your spouse loves to give- but so much that your finances are lacking! On the other hand, your spouse may not be as generous as you are.
Differences in giving can lead to many divisive feelings, like jealousy, selfishness, judgement, and pride. As a result of these differences and emotions, you might find it hard to trust your spouse with money.
Solution: Honor God Wisely
Since generosity is a godly trait, it’s great to encourage each other to be giving people. However, money is also a way that God provides for you to live your life clothed, fed, housed, and taken care of. Wisdom should always have a part in deciding when and how much to give.
If your spouse seems to give (or not give!) in a way that concerns you, tell them. Look through Scripture together to recognize what God says about money. Agree on how you want to use your money to honor God through giving as well as through spending and saving.
Honoring God With Your Money is a Process
As every solution highlights, the best thing you can do to use your money as two become one, honoring God, is to work together on your budget and financial planning. This is a process. You will have different budgets and priorities over time. Get in the habit of regularly talking about finances and honoring God with your money together.
Article submitted by Bethany McIlrath:
Bethany McIlrath is a freelance writer who is grateful for the Gospel. She writes on a variety of topics, but her favorite subjects connect faith to real life. You can connect with Bethany on her website or on social media.